Expats are Weird

July 4th celebration in Hanoi

Sorry for the delay after my promise to compliment and tease expats in Hanoi. I’m sure it’s a high priority for all of you.  It’s only appropriate to write about expats being weird after all the ranting I’ve done about how weird Vietnam is.  I’m sure I’m overusing the adjective “weird” but it’ll do.  First a brief disclaimer: As an expat myself, I’ve been guilty of doing nearly everything that I’m about to write about.  I’m in no way above any of this.  I write from a place of camaraderie, even when I’m writing about things that are less than flattering.  I tried to get some Vietnamese locals to give their own insight about how weird we are, but they were much too polite to do that (You’re asking me to insult you to your face, Sarah?  No no).

Unlikely friends – A fabulous thing about expats is that they usually seem to be pretty open to making new friends and trying new things.  It sucks when half of your social group goes home or to a new country, but there’s always a new batch of friendly faces to replace them (but alas, never in your heart, wistful sigh).  They also tend to be a mixed bag, from different countries and backgrounds and walks of life.  Groups of friends tend to be fairly eclectic overall, and not always groups that probably would’ve formed naturally back home.  I think this is in part due to the fact that we don’t have the same sort of group reference points.  The usual cliques don’t hold as much sway here.  This isn’t entirely true since of course like-minded people do find each other and their regular spots around the city, so it’s not that much different, but different enough.  I’ve made a lot of unlikely friends with whom I may never have crossed paths at home.

My attempt to generalize expats is pretty silly given the variety of people who come to live here, so take everything I write with a grain of salt, as usual. You meet all kinds, many with a lot of cool stories and interesting lives.  Some seem to be here due to an adventurous spirit or an interest in Asia, while I imagine others are social outcasts at home and find refuge in a country where they aren’t judged in the same manner and can actually find a date or job (but here I am judging them anyway, tisk tisk).  Sometimes it’s as simple as job security, especially in these financially troubling times.  One thing I enjoy about meeting people here, though, is the fact that they seem to be taken out of context to a degree, allowing for fewer preconceived notions.  It’s slightly harder to put people into familiar boxes – until you reconstruct new boxes, that is.

Beer Corner - Image from http://www.thirdworldbazaar.ca/experiences.html

But onto the more trivial side of expat life…

Dealings with the Foreigner Tax – Expats by and large are overpaid by Vietnamese standards.  A decent salary in Hanoi is somewhere between $250-400/month from what I’ve heard.  Most expats get paid a lot more than that. Even if their salaries would be considered laughable back home, they’re rich in Vietnam.  Others would be considered rich no matter where they live, but I suppose they’re super extra rich in Vietnam.  Despite being well-to-do in a cheap country, expats feel a constant pang of frustration from being consistently ripped off.  Basically, although being paid well beyond what a local person gets, they become outraged at being charged twice the local price on whatever it may be – purses, shoes, books, taxi rides, fruit, postcards, whatever.  It’s not unheard of to see an expat get into a shouting match with a banana lady who wants to sell him or her bananas at $1 more than the going price.  Sometimes these expats even work for humanitarian or development-oriented NGOs.  Yeah, it’s… err…funny.  That’s an extreme example, but it’s true that foreigners will waste a lot of time and effort trying to bargain down a few cents or a few bucks.  I know it’s the way of Vietnam as bargaining is part of shopping, but sometimes you have to take a step back and realize that perhaps you don’t need the dollar that badly.

In defense – Because expats are charged more for many, many things most of the time and are usually well aware of this fact, the bargaining game gets to be tiresome.  I’ve been witness to and participant of extensive and obsessive conversations about how much something should cost, how much it did cost, and the human rights infractions that occurred during a mundane monetary transaction.  The consistency of it makes it so that people start obsessing over money and before you know it, you’re yelling about bananas.  Or trying to bargain down a nice old lady who’s actually quoting you the regular price.  I believe that the anger involved stems much more from feeling taken advantage of as opposed to the money itself.  No one likes feeling like a fool, and let’s face it, if you pay $10 for something that was worth $3, you’re kind of a fool.  Or not?  Should we pay more because we make more?  Regardless of the answer to that question, I’ll never feel comfortable arguing over a few bucks.  I’m impressed with my friends who do it successfully.

Whine whine – I know that people like to complain everywhere, and I’m no exception, but bitch sessions take on a special kind of intensity among foreigners in Hanoi.  Just walk up to a group of white people, say “traffic” and stand back to witness the frenzy and rage-filled speeches.  It’s like a competitive sport as people try to outdo each other with their stories of discomfort and woe.  If Hanoi sucks so much, why are they all here?  Don’t let the whininess fool you, though.  Most expats are equally capable of flattering Hanoi with declarations of love if prompted.

Brushes with Alcoholism – Maybe it’s the 25 cent price tag on bia hoi, but expats like their alcohol.  A lot.  If you plan on moving to Hanoi, start honing your shot-taking skills.  And remember that driving a motorbike drunk isn’t the smartest move.

Minsk Fetish – What is it with Minsk motorbikes?  Expats are drawn to Minsks like hipsters are to Vespas.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Vietnamese person on one in Hanoi.  The things are loud, unruly, pollution-prone and they break down all the time from what I hear.  “They have more power for long distances,” is a common explanation.  Yes, but how often do you leave Hanoi, and can’t you just rent one for those occasions?  My wimpy Honda Wave rental managed to climb a mountain, or crawl up it at least, and it runs perfectly despite my inept handling and care of it.  I think a lot of people get Minsks because they seem to be either cooler or more manly than the typical scooter in Hanoi.  Not that there’s a problem with getting a bike because it looks cool.  You can probably find a better explanation here.

Expat Hierarchy – I’ve written about a sort of expat hierarchy that exists where you earn more points for your length of stay, job, level of Vietnamese language skills, and knowledge of Vietnamese culture.  From what I can tell, the hierarchy runs something like this from bottom to top: tourists, backpackers, long-term backpackers, English teachers, NGO workers/volunteers, small businessman/self-employed people (photographers, travel writers and the like), and then maybe diplomats.  At least, this is what I’ve gathered from interweb forums, blogs and the like.  People are mean on the internet, though.  It’s funny how people like to make fun of backpackers, but then they are backpackers when they visit other countries.  I remember someone making some snarky comment about me being a backpacker when I was walking through Vientiane, Laos.   Should I have shown them my Vietnam expat membership card to prove my credibility and proper place on the foreigner hierarchy?  Yeah, you’re so cool because you live in Laos – what an achievement that is.  Douchebaggery.

Something Old, Something New – Expats are weird in the sense that they presumably moved to a foreign country to experience something new, but once there, they cling to familiar Western style places and food.   I nearly shat my pants with excitement when I discovered that Puku added a burrito to their menu.  A silly, but understandable tendency.

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I’m sure there’s a lot of expat weirdness I’m forgetting, so feel free to add to the list if you want to.  I didn’t intend for it to be an expat-bashing entry, but it’s meant to be light-hearted teasing.  I honestly like most of the expats I meet and have enjoyed running around with them over the last 2 years.  So much so that the new hubby and I have decided to stay for another year after promises of running away.  Hanoi seems to do that to people.  A plan to visit for a few months often turns into a multiple year stay.  Our Vietnamese love affair isn’t quite finished yet, and coming back after being gone for 6 weeks has only intensified it.  So if you love - or love to hate - my Vietnam-related musings, lucky you.

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